I'm just going to write what comes into my mind on this one, I feel like I want to express something but I'm not sure what! This last week has been one of great introspection and fulfillment even though I may seem to exhibit signs of some form of depression. It's certainly not effecting my way of thinking because I feel in tune with myself enough to feel comfortable and still interface with the world that I am capable with.
Partly I guess I've found a release writing these blogs. I have been understanding a fair bit of stuff recently and I want to expless my ways of thinking to solidify it if it's any good, or to be rejected rightly so.
Meh, I dunno. I know I might seem to over analyse things but I don't think I do at all. I'm still doing what I do for the love of life. My PC has been down lately, and I normally express myself through music, but I'm expressing myself through thought now, so I can make sense of all the emotions and experiences that I have, that is all.
I do have my emotional needs like everyone, more proof that I don't over analyse, people who I don't connect with probably think that I am showing lack of empathy and understanding. I disagree, and so would those that I'm lucky to have close to me. Yes this blog sounds selfish, but that's because it's the only place I get to talk about me! If you don't like it, you will probably find a very similar blog by somebody that isn't quite so self absorbed lol. I make this blog to connect and have something to show for it when I don't feel able to connect by other means.
I made this blog to have friends. If people know what others are like, regardless of distance, you can be friends and use eachother's talents. I will write when I want, not to make a internet presense, though I do like it when I do release regularly, but it can't always happen that way and if I don't feel comfortable with it, what is the point? I want to write this about not just my thoughts and analysis, but also my feelings, ideas and anything else I could do with writing down, and maybe something that you feel is useful.
If you do like what I write, let me know, because I'm not normally the type of person that demands respect of people but that can be too humbling and it's not good! However, I do always feel happy when a person likes a page or whatever :) More importantly, have a chat with me, I like talking to people if something can be gleaned from an awesome conversation! Lol.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Can Openers...
I shall soon be writing a blog about music performance and what you can put into it to make a song effective. (I'm writing on the perspective of an acoustic cover to keep the topic focussed.)
Why invent these....
When we have these...!
Those bastards are difficult to use, difficult to attach, difficult to clean, and they look stupid...
How can you drink soup out of a can opened like that without looking like this man below...
Monday, 5 November 2012
Seasonal Affective Disorder or something more intuitive?
Only this Autumn have I embraced the concept of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in a slightly more introverted manner than I would normally. On posting this I am not claiming to be a qualified professional, and nothing I say should ever be taken as solid proof that something is a certain way. I base all my thoughts and ideas on my current understanding of the world, which may well be different to your own. I write to articulate certain elements that may not commonly be discovered via means of primary research. To clarify, my ideas are based on intuition and experience mixed with some common knowledge.
If there is anything you disagree with, please let me know in the comments then tell me why. I'm not writing this to impress anybody, so I won't be too offended, just make sure you teach me something!
This post is broken up into the following categories:
Pseudo-Medical Outline
My Experience
Myers Briggs Type Indicator
Seasonal Affective Dichotomy
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Pseudo-Medical Outline
www.sada.org.uk includes a list of "Key Symptoms". These symptoms help us understand the effects SAD may have on somebody in the third person.
I mentioned "Third person". Mental Conditions are very personal to the person in question and changes within a person's ego may not be seen on the outside (By a doctor or person in care)
- Depression
- Sleep Problems
- Lethargy
- Over Eating
- Loss of Concentration
- Social Problems
- Anxiety
- Loss of Libido
- Mood Changes
The site on the more detailed symptoms page goes on to mention that a person may suffer some of these symptoms.
The different symptoms are broken down and expanded upon. These are explanations on why somebody may be feeling each symptom.
Outlining a condition like this is useful for identifying that a problem may exist, but ineffective in terms of treatment for most people. it can lead to a very clinical and non-intuitive method of treatment degrading a person into a case study.
The types of people such a medicinal approach may benefit may be the same types of people that rely on an exterior source (Psychotherapy, friendship) to help them analyse how to deal with the situation.
If you have SAD and you are only seeking a way to deal with the winter in such a clinical way, you may not benefit from reading any further. If you are willing to accept this as a means to challenge yourself and your perception of the world around you, then read on! I am dropping the medical side as it can be too easy to rationalise everything on such a mundane level failing to reap the full reward!
My Experience
I've had SAD for as long as I can remember, (Though I will admit, that goes back to about 16 years old), and Winter has always been the season that I dread. Autumn is also depressing as it reminds me of death. It takes about a week for my mood to change properly with ups and downs in between. This started about 3 weeks ago, and it was a slightly distressing experience!
I also have Bipolar Disorder (Formerly known as 'Manic Depression') something I intend to write about in the near future though it may be over a series of blogs. Having Bipolar Disorder Type 2 is an extremely misunderstood condition. Whilst hypomania and depression are 2 things I suffer, there are so many other facets in personality that Bipolar can affect. Creativity; Drive; Libido; Appetite; sensory excitation.
These are attitudes that can also be affected by SAD. As a result, suffering both have lead to far exaggerated effects.
- Do not fight a natural chemical change in your brain with your brain until you identify the cause of the change
Having Bipolar (BP), I have been forced to constantly evaluate my thoughts and feelings as my perspective on the world can change fairly significantly in a short space of time. The length of time it takes (Sometimes it can take under a minute) makes such a change confusing and difficult to handle. Imagine going to climb a mountain with all your climbing gear, then being told you are going swimming instead. It's very easy to sink when not mentally prepared!
If it's Summer time, I will naturally be extroverted with unnaturally large social boundaries. I can be very inappropriate and I will treat acquaintances with more connection than a normal person would. This makes it very easy to make friends!
I have had a number of amazing adventures this year where I have had the pleasure of meeting so many people and learned so much. My last adventure was a month ago. I normally get slightly depressed when I come back home after a week long adventure, spend 2 days being very introverted, get bored, then head off on my next adventure. I am currently unemployed due to complications Bipolar has in the workplace (Timekeeping, focussing on task etc). This last time I didn't get that release from the depression phase. It started getting worse! This is where I had my main problem... I was acting extrovert, but I had actually turned into an introvert! I was still acting the same way I would except my super huge social boundary had turned tiny! I wasn't aware of this because I was still acting on my routine hyper regime. I first noticed a large change in my personality when I was with my friends. They had thought I was high and couldn't understand a word I was saying, and it made me look at myself for that moment, and I realized that I couldn't articulate myself to the level I once could. A simple topic like sarcasm or small talk were easy enough for me, but once I tried to describe things that required a part of the brain that is now dormant, I faltered, completely.
I have noticed that in different states, a part of me (Call it the brain or the mind, I couldn't say which yet) will switch off, and another part will turn on. I'm not aware of what's turning on of course as that isn't my standard routine. I just notice what has been switched off! (I don't notice what parts of me activate similar to a goldfish cannot adapt to living outside of a bowl if that is all it has known). I would be trying to use a part of the brain in conversation before realising I just wasn't equipped for the task! It is like being stuck on the other side of your ego boundary. This is the part where you get anxious... And some with a nervous disposition might have a panic attack at this point. I generally freeze until I can come out with a rational way out of the situation. During this time I forcibly put myself mentally where I feel comfortable, and start again. This only really works when the situation hasn't been turned into one of social awkwardness!
Once I learned to stay within my shell, I started to become a lot more comfortable with the changes that were going on in my mind and even started to explore the parts of me that are being unlocked. (Like this blog... If it is now Summer time, my current posts are likely to be very different to this if I lose touch with this part of me that is unlocked at this time of year.)
- SAD is more than just a list of key symptoms, it is a physiological response which changes how a person cognitively connects with the world.
Myers Briggs Type Indicator
I recently did a small amount of research into the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. First published in 1921, Myers Briggs concluded that everybody fits into 16 possible psychological types. There are 8 dichotomies split into 4 pairs. Each pair is based upon opposites of 4 parts of the mind.
| Dichotomies | |
|---|---|
| Extraversion (E) – | (I) Introversion |
| Sensing (S) – | (N) Intuition |
| Thinking (T) – | (F) Feeling |
| Judging (J) – | (P) Perception |
A person is profiled with a single letter from each category. For example, my category is usually ENFP - Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception (I did not come to this conclusion by use of a test but by self analysis. A test concluded my results)
I strongly encourage you observe these types before continuing. This is because it is likely your personality type can change as you go through life, experiences can shape you or even SAD may kick in! Identifying your own type can help you perceive how this concept could be important in your daily life. Once you have read up on the personalities and have a decent understanding on how these work, take the test here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
You may find that you have a lot of difficulty with some of the questions. This is perfectly normal and shows that you are prone to change between types (For instance, I turn from extrovert to introvert too much to make some of the questions possible, so I switch between ENFP and INFP. I am currently INFP which I believe to be influenced heavily by SAD.
SAD lowers my ego a LOT and I will happily go through a day without wasting my time on 'pointless' social activities (Which is the opposite to my hypersocial nature during the summer). I still have social needs like I did before, but I am unable to fulfill them how I used to. As my I, N, F and P dichotomies are exaggerated, my inability to deal with this change and social distance can naturally slow me down. The lack of stimulation will then lead to depression.
Seasonal Affective Dichotomy
It is this that makes me believe that whilst the onset of SAD can be minimalised by standard treatment such as high intensity lamps. Visit here for information on sun lamps. http://www.sad.co.uk/ Nice and patronising website design!!
For those of you that don't respond, or don't wish to follow the course of light therapy, I think I might have the answer! Stop viewing SAD as a disorder. Think of it as Seasonal Affective Dichotomies! You're probably going to have no choice but to deal with the fact you're going to be a different person this Winter, so why not make the most of it instead of putting yourself in a box that you made when you were a different person!
- Find something that connects you to the world if you are feeling in social turmoil like close friends.
- If you can't seem to keep friends, talk to somebody online who you think looks interesting. Boy or girl!
- If you find that you haven't got as much energy, don't worry about it. And don't drink as much caffiene!
- If you feel detached from everything, as if you are high, then disconnect from it and come to your own conclusions a little more. (Unless you have Schizophrenia, in which case I would recommend the opposite!)
- When browsing the internet and not having motivation to find what you need, just distract yourself and read something new on that page, it may just open your mind a little.
- Stop feeling the need to be completely orderly. Just use order as a way to keep you from losing basic routines and your job! Whenever you can, have a holiday from your rigid lifestyle and appreciate a bit of creativity!
This all works for my personality type, and I believe I have encompassed these final ideas in a way that goes with all types. If you think I am talking utter crap, I challenge you to take the test and post your result with the comment.
Those are my views on the effects of SAD in a way that may help overcome a lot of the symptoms that come with the change. Let me know if this helps you in any way!
Sunday, 4 November 2012
Rules, What I think
I think rules are so deeply rooted within us, there's bound to a large divide between those who are for and those that are against the concept. I consider myself to be Libertarian, which means I favour economic and personal freedom.
Rules in their basic form aren't a human thing, or even a declaration of sentience. There are rules in ant colonies who's lack of sentience or intelligence may as well be a type of computer developed by nature. The concept of good and evil shouldn't really apply in this case.
Rules as a concept, were not designed to give control (Though in some species control means order), they were designed to create order in society. It is natures way of causing a balance in what would otherwise be a very chaotic world.
Rules, like Religion, or Democracy can be manipulated to a minorities gain. This selfish attitude most certainly is bad!
A rule to say “You must give your private confidential information to us or get fucked in the ass by our prison guards” is different to the MORAL rule saying “Don’t kill or your life is gonna get fucked” which is, obviously, reinforced by human's acquisition of rules. They call it law to stop it sounding like something you’d hear in a playground, and to be respected as a higher being. You end up being coerced into respecting those in the law as part of a greater good, as if law is a God living through their transcendent existence.
WE as a collective society have all led to that, by agreeing with them from anything in our lives that gives them control over us, and it gets increasingly easy to do so. But… It’s an entirely natural process, and nobody is to blame. It’s a tribal mentality, with one group having to rule over the other. It’s comparable to a race war when considering the nature of the discrimination that actually goes on. As a part of things to settle in this universe, everything has to be balanced. This is similar to the reason that the rules came into being in the first place, that society manages to settle. There are people who follow the law for the sake of following the law (Influenced by upbringing, genetics and decision) and end up being the law to one respect. You then get those that swing the other way. I don't believe either type of belief makes one a better or a worse person, it just reflects the decisions they decide to make. It is the motives of the people that are in each dividing force that defines their moral conduct. For instance you could get a greedy corporate manager that makes money by legally stealing off the country (Think Occupy whatever), or you can get a standard criminal that steals off people when their back is turned. They are both the same, they just do their crimes in a different way. (Though stealing is more of a complex issue than this to me and I haven't gone into it here in detail, so it's purely a simple example)
Such selifsh attitudes are what leads to horrible abuse of rules, but rules themselves are natural, a neutral thing. They stop us from living in our own heads being completely mindless of anybody else's awareness. They create trust, integrity and respect. They enable two people of different attitudes to be comfortable with each other, they promote self growth. They are a foundation to society. The bad rules we’re talking about is a foundation to totalitarianism.
Rules in their basic form aren't a human thing, or even a declaration of sentience. There are rules in ant colonies who's lack of sentience or intelligence may as well be a type of computer developed by nature. The concept of good and evil shouldn't really apply in this case.
Rules as a concept, were not designed to give control (Though in some species control means order), they were designed to create order in society. It is natures way of causing a balance in what would otherwise be a very chaotic world.
Rules, like Religion, or Democracy can be manipulated to a minorities gain. This selfish attitude most certainly is bad!
A rule to say “You must give your private confidential information to us or get fucked in the ass by our prison guards” is different to the MORAL rule saying “Don’t kill or your life is gonna get fucked” which is, obviously, reinforced by human's acquisition of rules. They call it law to stop it sounding like something you’d hear in a playground, and to be respected as a higher being. You end up being coerced into respecting those in the law as part of a greater good, as if law is a God living through their transcendent existence.
WE as a collective society have all led to that, by agreeing with them from anything in our lives that gives them control over us, and it gets increasingly easy to do so. But… It’s an entirely natural process, and nobody is to blame. It’s a tribal mentality, with one group having to rule over the other. It’s comparable to a race war when considering the nature of the discrimination that actually goes on. As a part of things to settle in this universe, everything has to be balanced. This is similar to the reason that the rules came into being in the first place, that society manages to settle. There are people who follow the law for the sake of following the law (Influenced by upbringing, genetics and decision) and end up being the law to one respect. You then get those that swing the other way. I don't believe either type of belief makes one a better or a worse person, it just reflects the decisions they decide to make. It is the motives of the people that are in each dividing force that defines their moral conduct. For instance you could get a greedy corporate manager that makes money by legally stealing off the country (Think Occupy whatever), or you can get a standard criminal that steals off people when their back is turned. They are both the same, they just do their crimes in a different way. (Though stealing is more of a complex issue than this to me and I haven't gone into it here in detail, so it's purely a simple example)
Such selifsh attitudes are what leads to horrible abuse of rules, but rules themselves are natural, a neutral thing. They stop us from living in our own heads being completely mindless of anybody else's awareness. They create trust, integrity and respect. They enable two people of different attitudes to be comfortable with each other, they promote self growth. They are a foundation to society. The bad rules we’re talking about is a foundation to totalitarianism.
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Is it morally incorrect to use or manipulate a sociopath?
People I have difficulty with understanding are sociopaths. But I won’t find that out until later so I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
One may find it difficult to truly understand a sociopath until they have taken the time to piece together their personality and identified the discrepancies that hold the different aspects together.
It might be easier to think of them as a selfish person that doesn't take other people’s human values into consideration, but I don't believe they need to be selfish in a traditional sense of the word. They can care about another person, as an extension of their own ego, rather than the subconscious admittance that another person may also have their own awareness.
Ego definition - "http://www.wordreference.com/definition/ego"
The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
This would explain a desire for recognition with an inability to comprehend that they could be selfish people rooted deep down.
Ego definition - "http://www.wordreference.com/definition/ego"
The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
This would explain a desire for recognition with an inability to comprehend that they could be selfish people rooted deep down.
It could be suggested that all humans are sociopaths when it comes to an instinctive and fundamental level. However the subconscious is supposed to be some sort of barrier between instinct and humanity. We all have selfish survival instincts, but the subconscious manages to keep those instincts where they belong, or self awareness just uses those instincts without question or thought
The feelings that a truly selfless person gets doesn’t need to be an extension of one's ego, a self gratifying measure. Displaying abandonment is not necessarily something required for survival. (Obviously pack mentality may complicate this, but I don't believe everything is like that. A belief that I can't prove, and may be proven wrong in the future. I consider TRUE selflessness to be anti-Darwin. How is this possible if we’re all selfish deep down? Our race just wouldn't survive.
The feelings that a truly selfless person gets doesn’t need to be an extension of one's ego, a self gratifying measure. Displaying abandonment is not necessarily something required for survival. (Obviously pack mentality may complicate this, but I don't believe everything is like that. A belief that I can't prove, and may be proven wrong in the future. I consider TRUE selflessness to be anti-Darwin. How is this possible if we’re all selfish deep down? Our race just wouldn't survive.
This explains my belief in the importance of the subconscious.
So it’s evident to me that sociopaths must have something missing, not the subconscious, but something I don't really know (Maybe somebody can comment below their ideas). They are people like the rest of us, and alienation is not the purpose of this at all! I’m establishing what I believe construes the difference between a sociopath and a non-sociopath. Whatever you decide to do with this, whether it's to fuel your underlying bias, or to take this with a pinch of salt and adopt a thought you might agree with is up to you.
I have a friend that’s a sociopath, and we get on most the time. It’s a bit odd sometimes knowing his connection to me may based on something I don’t understand, and possibly based upon something within his own ego boundary, but I’m cool with that.
The issue is that I don’t know if our friendship can be of the same type as some of my other friendships. I know that he has stolen from me, and has no trouble in lying about it, but I know he’s not doing it because he’s a malicious person. He doesn't hate me and he hasn't done anything nasty because it's not in his interests at all. I just have to make sure that he can’t steal from me, or take advantage of me in any way. Once I have established clear boundaries on what he can and can't do (And he’ll know about it if he breaks the boundaries), there is no possibility that he’d be interested by using me in that way. This would be the case whether he wanted to breach the boundaries or not. It's important to make sure you can't be manipulated by anybody, regardless of their personality etc.
This is a question that has been bugging me for a couple of weeks now… Is it morally wrong to manipulate a sociopath? Keep into consideration the drives that this person has. As long as he’s content, then there’s no problems on his end. So surely if I was to give him what he wanted, in exchange for anything he can give to get what he wants, it would be acceptable?
It could seem like an infringement of his human rights because it's a concept that could be considered degrading, but think of it like Feminists disagreements with the Porn Industry. Because he is thriving, doing something that he wants to do, it’s a glorification of his rights?
Please give your comments on your thoughts on the subject, and let me know if I’m way off the mark (Or if I’ve said something right!)
Update! - 18:30, 04/11/12
I was having an IM conversation with a close friend on the subject, and he had these views. I've copy pasted the convo:
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